Wednesday, July 14, 2010

goals

I couldn't wait to grow up...I always wanted MORE responsibility and more privileges, but with that comes something that no kid expects. It's called life. Where the unexpected, unknown, and sometimes unwelcome events, people, and things somehow interrupt your current bliss. Whether that "bliss" is coffee, a moment to yourself, or just a breath of fresh air, life seems to have a way of disrupting this. Now, not always is life bad. These unexpected, unknown, and sometimes unwelcome events, people, and things turn into some of the best moments in life. I was always told that you can plan all you want, but things will change. So, you make plans anyway, create goals and ideas, and life either cooperates or doesn't. For ALL of my married life, at least, I have been so set in my ways of planning that I have forgotten to be spontaneous. How in the world am I supposed to make something out of this life with so many unknowns even with my so-called plans? The answer hit me like a Greyhound Bus tonight as I was writing out a 6 month plan for my life...it is so simple and I don't know how I have seemed to overlook this simple solution. Pray. That's it, all I have to do is let it ALL go and leave it in the hands of the ULTIMATE planner. I have spent the last 3 years of my marriage attempting to be a good wife and make plans for our future and I've neglected to take into account His plan. I have used my own planning skills against myself, and in turn causing life to turn on me and have in the mean time allowed Him to redirect me right to where we started. My plans now have failed, defeated I now am faced with yet another choice...but with the life experience behind me, I make an educated decision to just let go. Give everything over to my Father in Heaven and allow him to direct my decisions. Why would I do it alone when I have the Ultimate Planner right by my side? He allows for relaxation, those moments you need every now and then, He allows for spontaneity, but in the same sense allows for your grief, and frustration. As I realize this, I still am shocked it took me this long to take it all in. It is 2 weeks before my 22nd birthday and I constantly think I feel older, because of my "life experience" and suddenly I feel like I am almost 22 and very young and not as smart as I thought. This is something I didn't even think was going to be my conclusion at the end of this 6 month plan I had just created. Amazing how He works in the most mysterious ways. Now, for my goal...LET GO and give it ALL to Him! Any concern, question, want, need, hope, desire, dream...all of it. This is the ONLY way to walk through this life. It's not easy, but this is life it's a game. Cheaters will win, and those who are honest will win, but at the end, it's not about winning, it's about the journey of how you got there that truly matters.

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